Courage in the Martial Arts (Part I)
What is Courage?
Adults:
When people think of courage, they often equate it to an absence of fear. In today’s society showing fear is often equated with shameful weakness, but fear is a natural part of life. It would be impossible, even foolish, to never be afraid. In fact, courage cannot exist without fear, because courage is defined by how we react in the face of our fears.
True courage is the strength to continue moving forward even when we are scared. Especially when we are scared. It is in these moments that we reveal our character and define who we are as a person.
Children:
A lot of times people say that courage, sometimes called being brave, means not being scared of anything. But it’s important to know and understand that it is okay to be scared, and that being afraid of something doesn’t make you weak. What matters is not letting that fear stop us from trying new things.
Showing good courage means knowing that it is okay to be scared and not letting our fear stop us from trying new things.
What Does Courage Look Like?
Adults:
Courage can come in many different forms, from trying something new to admitting you need help. So long as you are facing your fears, you are demonstrating courage. Some of the biggest fears people face are the fear of the unknown and a fear of failure. These two things often go hand in hand. Someone may never try something new, like martial arts, because they don’t know if they will be good at it. But the fact is most things you try for the first time you will be bad at, and that’s okay. Showing good courage means trying new things even if it might be scary, because you never know when you will find your new favorite activity!
While courage is often times thought of as not showing fear, in most cases the exact opposite is true. This is because courage involves coming face to face with the things that make us afraid or uncomfortable. It is important to remember that courage will look different for each person based on their own personal experiences, so it’s difficult to say exactly what courage looks like. For the most part though, most people share two common fears: the fear of failure and the fear of the unknown. These two things often go hand in hand. Someone may never try something new, like martial arts, because they don’t know if they will be good at it. But the fact is most things you try for the first time you will be bad at, and that’s okay. Learning and growing is part of life, but growth cannot come without some form of discomfort, hence the term growing pains. What matters is not allowing the fear of that discomfort to stop our growth.
Children:
When we show good courage, we show that we don’t let our fears stop us from trying and doing our best. Think back to a time you were scared of something but tried it out anyways. Maybe you were a little scared when you tried a new food. Making new friends can also be scary because we don’t know the other person. But if we stop just because we are afraid, we might miss out on the chance to discover our new favorite food or meet our new best friend!
Remember, courage doesn’t always the look the same for everybody, because not everyone is afraid of the same thing. But so long as you are facing your fears, you are demonstrating good courage.
What Does Courage Sound Like?
Adults:
Often times the biggest hurdle to facing our fears is the anxiety that comes with our own anticipation. As a defense mechanism, we tend to focus heavily on all the possible negative outcomes associated with a risk, or what our mind’s perceive as a risk, so we can plan and mitigate the damage. This instinctual thought pattern has allowed humans to survive for thousands of years, but it also means we can tend to be pessimistic by nature.
Though we shouldn’t completely neglect the possible dangers, we also shouldn’t dwell too heavily on all the different hypotheticals. Rather than dreading the outcome should something go wrong, we should try focusing on the exciting possibilities that come with success.
Children:
When we get scared, our minds tend to focus on the negatives and everything that can go wrong. We ask ourselves a bunch of ‘What if?’ questions. What if they don’t like me? What if I’m not good enough? What if I fail and embarrass myself?
Instead, we should try to focus on the positives. What if they do like me? What if it’s really fun? What if I’m really good at it?
Millions of people every day pass up on the opportunity to do something amazing because they are too afraid to try.
What Does Courage Feel Like?
Adults:
Remember that courage is not the absence of fear, rather it is the strength to move past that fear and not allow it to inhibit or limit us. The most important thing to remember is that even when we find that strength the fear may still be present, and it’s important that we acknowledge that fear. This is the difference between courage and recklessness. Courage is the act of acknowledging your fears and not allowing them to stop you. Recklessness is completely ignoring your fears and the dangers that your actions may pose.
As with everything, courage takes practice, and some instance may be more challenging than others. The fear of trying something new or speaking in front of a crown may never completely go away, but the more you practice being comfortable in an uncomfortable environment, that fear will start to subside and be replaced by confidence.
Children:
Remember that courage is not the absence of fear, it is being strong enough to move past that fear. Because of that, when you demonstrate courage, you will often feel afraid and scared. When you show courage, one of two things could happen. Hopefully you will prove your fears wrong and end up having a great time because you were able to move past your fear. But sometimes you might also find that what you were scared of came true. That’s okay too.
What matters is that we don’t let that failure stop us from trying again the next time we are scared of something. Just like everything in life, courage takes practice. Remember that practice makes permanent. If we shy away and stop every time we are scared, it is all we will ever do. But if we keep practicing good courage, over time that fear will be less and less.
Remember, being scared doesn’t make you weak. It is how you react to that fear that really matters. It is important though that we don’t confuse courage with recklessness. Fear is the brain’s way of trying to protect ourselves, and sometimes we are afraid of something for a reason. We all know that touching a hot stove will hurt, and that busy streets are dangerous. When you ignore the fear of being injured, especially when injury is a high likelihood, you have become reckless.