Courage in the Martial Arts (Part II)
How can I demonstrate courage at home?
Children:
Home is one of the best places to practice our courage because it should be a place where we feel comfortable and safe. Our mom, dad, and siblings love us and support us when we try new things and won’t judge us if we make a mistake.
A great way to practice your courage at home is when mom and dad make us a new food we’ve never tried before. Sometimes trying new foods can be really scary because we don’t know if we’re going to like it or not. We could spend a lot of time worrying that the food won’t taste good, but we shouldn’t let that stop us. Instead, try taking five “No thank you” bites. We want to make sure we try it more than once, because sometimes when we are scared, we automatically want to say no. If we don’t like the food after trying a few bites, we can always say “No thank you.” But it might taste really good, and you may have just found your new favorite food!
Adults:
Courage is often needed in high pressure situations and stressful environments, and that combined with the stress of needing to demonstrate good courage can be quite daunting. Over time, as we become more comfortable with uncomfortable situations, that mental toll will steadily decrease. Until we reach that level of comfort, however, it can be useful to remove some of that stress so we can focus solely on demonstrating courage. By practicing in a safe environment, such as our homes, we can raise our confidence in our ability to show courage, which will help us remain calm when we need to use it out in the world.
How can I demonstrate courage at school/work
Children:
One of the scariest things that we face at school is our peers, especially bullies. Whether you are a victim of bullying or a bystander, standing up to bullies is one of the most frightening things we may have to face, even as adults. It is important though, that we speak up when we see bullies, even though it can be a very scary thing to do. If we do nothing, bullies will continue to get away with hurting other people.
Standing up to bullies can also be a very difficult thing to do, because we may not always know how. Just like we practice our karate to protect ourselves, we can also practice defending ourselves from bullies using our Seven Strategies to Defeat a Bully taught at Ironwood Martial Arts.
Adults:
As we get older, the fears we face become more complex and difficult to address. Irrational fears that we face as children are often conquered by reason at this point in our life, and what fears do remain are typically ones upon which we are reliant for our own survival. Progress and growth at this stage are usually inhibited now by a lack of self-confidence or from having grown complacent.
In any social environment there exists some sort of hierarchy, usually organized by popularity, power, or both. It takes courage to challenge this hierarchy, or to do something that may cause a change in the hierarchal structure, such as asking someone on a date or requesting a raise at work. In many of these cases, the courage we need to show is no longer inhibited by physical consequences, but rather the social consequences of things going wrong, and very often these perceived consequences stem from our own insecurities, and facing these insecurities demands the courage to look in the mirror and closely examine ourselves.
Whether personal or professional, you cannot seek to attain something if you do not think you are deserving of it.
How can I demonstrate courage in the Dojang?
Children:
No matter what anyone tells you, karate is NOT easy. While some skills may come easy to you, other things you may find difficult. There might be one technique or move that you have a really hard time with, and when your instructor tells the class it’s time to practice that move, you might feel scared or nervous because you don’t think you can do it and are afraid of failing. And you might be right. You might fail. You might fail one hundred times before you get it right once. What’s important is that we don’t let our fear of failing stop us from trying our best. In fact, the move that we’re scared of is the one we need to practice the most. Have the courage to fail, and to fail often, because one day you will get it right!
Adults:
The practice of martial arts should not be limited by any age, gender, or disability. Yet many adults have confessed they were hesitant to try martial arts because they felt they were too old to try. For older students, the physical demands of training can be the most daunting aspect, and we as humans can’t help but compare ourselves to our peers. As our bodies age, they lose mobility, stability, and flexibility. This truth can present a challenge to adults of any age, especially since the demographic for martial arts has steadily shifted towards the younger generation.
Learning to realize and accept our limitations, and to work within them is an important aspect of martial arts training. It takes courage to admit when we can’t do something, especially if we were once able to. Even more daunting can be the realization that those limits get more restricting over time, and knowing how much work is required to prevent that from happening, and even to try to push them in the other direction.
The truth is that once people become comfortable, they develop a fear of being uncomfortable. They are afraid of failure, and afraid of being bad at something while they learn something new.
But that doesn’t mean we should give up before we even try. Whether it’s martial arts, dancing, or going back to school, don’t allow the ‘what ifs’ to hinder you. Refamiliarize yourself with failing, and fail often, because it is only through failure that growth is possible.