What is Discipline?
What is Discipline?
Children:
When explaining discipline to children, it is important they understand discipline is not punishment. This can create a negative association with the word. Instead, explain that discipline is the act of choosing to be responsible, even when we don’t want to. It is doing what we need to do, even when we don’t want to.
Adults:
Though discipline and responsibility share many similarities, there are some key differences that distinguish the two. Primarily, responsibility is holding oneself accountable for their actions and behavior. It is knowing that our words and actions have consequences, good or bad, and accepting the outcome we create for ourselves. Discipline is the means through which we build responsibility, and more importantly, choosing the actions that will result in positive consequences; choosing to do the right thing, rather than the easy thing.
What does Discipline look like?
Children:
In life, there are things that we want to do and things that we have to do. Sometimes these things overlap, and sometimes they don’t. Going to school is a good example. Sometimes we want to go to school and sometimes we don’t. We can’t always do only the things we want to do though. We have responsibilities that we have to take care of, such as going to school and doing our chores. If we don’t take care of our responsibilities, there will be consequences; like failing a test if we don’t go to school, or getting in trouble with mom and dad if we don’t do our chores. It’s important that we still do these things even when we don’t want to, otherwise there will be negative consequences.
Adults:
As adults, we can no longer rely on others to enforce our discipline. We must practice self-discipline to ensure we are properly addressing our responsibilities. This can be much harder as an adult because we have autonomy over our lives, which, while being a benefit of getting older, also demands more self-discipline. While others will still hold you accountable for your actions, no one is going to make you be more disciplined, and the consequences of lacking that discipline are often times more severe and longer lasting. Mom and dad aren’t going to make you go to work, and forgetting to pay your bills is much more impactful than forgetting to do your homework.
Ultimately, having self-discipline means making hard choices. It might mean waking up early to make sure we’re showing up to work on time or staying in on the weekend to get chores done instead of going out with friends. Making these decisions isn’t easy, but addressing our responsibilities before indulging in fun is an important part of being an adult.
What does Discipline sound like?
Children:
Discipline can come in many forms, but so long as we are being consistent in our actions, we are building discipline. While the big responsibilities like school and chores are important, we also need to make sure we pay attention to the little things. Practicing good manners by remembering to say “please” and “thank you” is a great way to start. And remembering to call your instructors “sir” and “ma’am” is important too. These things may not seem very important, but if we want to get good at the big things, we need to make sure we pay attention to the little things as well.
Adults:
The most important thing to build discipline is consistency. We are what we repeatedly do, therefore we want to make sure we are consistently making responsible decisions to ensure we become responsible people. This demands the discipline to remain consistent, which is a hard thing to do. It may require setting alarms to make sure we remember to do our chores at a specific time. Maybe it means turning down the offer to socialize with friends tonight because we know we need to be in bed by a certain time to have a successful and productive day tomorrow.
What does Discipline feel like?
Children:
Being disciplined can be hard. We would much rather play video games than do our homework or chores, but ignoring our responsibilities leads to negative consequences. Sometimes being disciplined means we have to give up the chance to have fun with our friends because we know we have other things we need to do first. Take care of your responsibilities first, then you can spend the rest of the day having fun!
Adults:
At the end of the day, being disciplined requires a great amount of willpower. Choosing to do the responsible thing rather than the easy thing, or the fun thing isn’t easy. The more we do something the easier it gets, and these repetitive behaviors eventually become habits. It is vital we are building good habits rather than bad ones. A lack of self-discipline, putting things off for later, always leads to increased stress and anxiety. Take care of your responsibilities first and do it consistently. Discipline means planning for the future by sacrificing and putting in the work now.